i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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