I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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