Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
