It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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