yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize