I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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