dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
