Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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