you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
