Define "chronic" masturbator.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
