Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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