i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
