oh god the rape fog is back!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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