is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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