you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
