i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
operation have a gay friend backfired
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
