You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
