Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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