the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
