found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I think people are normalizing furries
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
