His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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