just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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