he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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