Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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