Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
this beer tastes like vomit already
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
