the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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