if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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