Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
