when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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