Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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