Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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