I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
