No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
