I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
