We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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