This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
