Well apparently he's into motor boating.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
