It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
