Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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