I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
