Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
