After last night, I could never be a politician.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
