Someone shit on the floor
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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