What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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