i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i wish my penis had a tongue
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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