Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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