i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
birth control should be required to get into college
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
