"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
