I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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