I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
