fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
