My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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