it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Let's paint friendship bongs
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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