It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
