dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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