Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
