she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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