Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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