She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
