doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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