would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
