did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
