i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
