im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
