For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
