But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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