Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Someone came in the potted fern
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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